Parents usually understand the need of praising the child. But most of them don’t have much idea about the effective manner, timing, and frequency of praising a child. Studies and literature also have a different opinions about this. Some experts recommend that we shall praise freely and lavishly, on the other hand, few warn us not to overdo the applause.

Both of the opinions seem correct as experts have a strong premise to prove their argument.

The first set of experts says it’s very important to praise children as it;

  • encourages them to improve
  • keeps them motivated
  • boosts their self-esteem and confidence
  • helps get the right behavior repeated

There is a great debate among experts about the effects of praise on children. This debate is not about praising or not praising rather a difference of opinion is because of the way of praise and the amount of praise.


So let’s discuss five key points which will help us to draw a balanced approach.

 1. Be Specific when Praising 

Praise is much more than only saying “Good Boy” or “Good Girl”, be specific about what the praise is for. When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Instead of saying “Wow, you did a great artwork” say “Your choice of red & yellow color has made this work great”

This way your child will also get to know that you are noticing his/her work, and will encourage him/her to do more.

 2. Praise the efforts not only results 

You can always point out improvements no matter how small e.g. “You have picked up on your reading…Appreciate”. Highlight their effort “I can see you tried hard to get it right”

If you are looking for improvement then you need to praise the efforts and don’t need to wait for results to praise. Praising efforts can encourage your child to try hard in the future.

 3. Praise must be genuine and sincere 

Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not. Even young kids can see right through false praise. Praise should reflect the amount of effort the child put in. Earned praise reinforces your child’s effort and is encouraging.

 4. Praise the process/behavior rather than the Child 

“You’re such a good player” or “You have such a beautiful singing voice.” Be careful with this kind of praise which tends to focus on their inborn strengths/abilities. If he believes he arrived prepackaged with certain abilities, he might think he doesn’t need to improve in those areas.

It’s better to focus on the process. Process-based praise emphasizes what he can control, such as how much time he spends on a project or which strategies he uses.

“I am so impressed at how hard you worked on your science project” is more empowering than “Wow, you’re good at science !”

 5. Accentuate the Positive 

Respond to wanted behaviors of your child more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The key to getting great results is to pay attention to “what’s going right” rather than “what’s going wrong”

Try to eliminate constant negativity around and put the focus on all the wonderful, positive things your children are doing instead. Catch them doing the right things and appreciate them immediately.


 Book an Consultation 

Email: contact@buildbetterlife.in

Phone No: +91-9958848569

Call us now: +91-9958848569